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becks89

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[28 Nov 2006|06:52pm]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Yay!
3| cure me please

[25 Nov 2006|05:31pm]
Got an offer from Exeter! Third choice, but AAA :S but all is good. I would like to go there, a big reason because Miss Rowling herself studied there for university too :D
3| cure me please

[23 Nov 2006|05:29pm]
I got an offer! English Lit at University of East Anglia, conditional, AAB. I'm very excited, and SO surprised because I only sent my application two weeks ago. East Anglia is a back up, so at least now I will have a place to go!

Now I have left Edinburgh, (1st choice), Warwick, Exeter, Southampton and Nottingham to hear from.
2| cure me please

[15 Nov 2006|12:02am]
I've reached halfway of the word count for Nanowrimo! Woot woot. And I've only wanted to give up about a million times, and most of those were in fact today. Woot woot.
cure me please

[12 Nov 2006|03:28pm]
I've officially applied to university.

Gulp.
3| cure me please

[30 Oct 2006|11:11pm]
Just letting you all know that I'm alive, have been terribly busy, and starting in about 25 hours, I shall be attempting Nanowrimo for the very first time. I'm bloody insane.
3| cure me please

[05 Sep 2006|08:11pm]
Of worthy note:

AH school. *groan* But hey, last EVER year (when did that happen?). Everyone is deciding to grow up on me...WHY why? People I know have houses and are driving and I went to the first of very many 18th birthdays this past weekend. I hate being the youngest, I'm not legal till May! No alcohol for me during these insane 18th birthdays...not like that has ever stopped me before. *grin* But yes...AH school, last year EVER etc. etc.

Someone take me to Neverland.
1| cure me please

to all the pumpkin pie lovers: [22 Aug 2006|02:18pm]
I've been thinking lately (*gasp* shock horror etc.) and I've realised, among many things how uninvolved in fandom I am now. I can point it back to the very day, as I'm sure lots of people can. But it's sort of sad how now I barely look at the communities anymore dedicated to my ship or even general HP, and I don't write/read any HP or make icons of anything... Thinking of it a year and a bit on, I'm not trying to rant or blame or anything, as it was good while we had it, but I'm saying...what a shame. I used to be so in love with HP and everything that came with it, but now...Ugh I dunno. This is a bit of a nothing post really. End.
4| cure me please

[20 Aug 2006|03:39pm]
Right so, long time no post. Oops. I'm just at the end of my summer holiday, and I cannot believe that I have 2 and a half weeks and then it's my final year. FINAL YEAR! I've actually sort of grown up, or at least, am in the midst of growing up. It's kind of terrifying knowing that I'll be packing up for university this time next year, leaving pretty much everybody I know behind. But it's also sort of exhilarating, because I've been in the same school, with the same people for 13 years. It'll be nice to have a change.

Results were brilliant by the way :D Full marks for art, and I didn't actually suck in the Politics paper! So four As for me, four As for me yay. My parents are so thrilled, considering the disaster that was last year.

Last week, I was in Canada, and then went to New York for three days. I LOVE New York, even though I spent about zilch time there. I'm seriously thinking of moving there after university, becoming a *gasp* American...

Canada was great though. We went to visit my dads' parents and the ridiculous amounts of cousins/aunts/uncles that I have there. Welcome to an Asian family... I felt a bit prohibited there, if that's the right word. The family there are seriously religious, I mean really. I believe in God and everything, but I'm not the best Christian, in terms of things I do and how I act and the things I write *blush*. We were kind of always praying there, or going to church, and I felt so uncomfortable sometimes. I can't imagine what my mum must have felt, being a Buddhist. Ah, well. Family y'know.

Right now I'm sort of doing a bit of nothing. I've got tons of books to read for English/Art/Politics but I really don't want to read them, and no matter how much I TRY to write I'm really not in the mood. So, somebody amuse me! Or at least tell me whats been going on all the time I've been away.

Oh and just to add. I'm actually kind of happy now. I mean, really happy, happier than I've been in ages. It feels kind of nice. I definitely could get used to it.
11| cure me please

general exam related rant/ [03 Jun 2006|07:05pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

I'm so fucking bored. I've been working straight for weeks, and it's not enough! I do only several hours of revision and spend most of the time fucking about, and then at night I get seriously stressed out about the lack of revision I'm doing and the fact that I have an exam in three days and that scares the shit out of me but then I wake up the next morning and spend it lazing about and trying to work, and realistically I only get in about five hours every day. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. Someone kick me up the arse and get me to work the next couple of days! I finish in five days, and then it's serious partying time, but till then...argh I don't think i have the will to keep going! I need to work I will work I will work...

Right after I watch Fight Club.

Why am I so relaxed and stressed at the same time? How does that even work...?

4| cure me please

[10 May 2006|07:15pm]
[ mood | but stressed ]

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

4| cure me please

[27 Apr 2006|11:23pm]
Don't you really hate it when you start to write down a plot bunny, a brief outline of a story or something of the like, and for some reason you have to stop and leave. You then find the peice of paper by accident a few weeks later and realise that you hadn't finished writing it down, and what you have written down doesn't make any sense, especially because you cannot remember what on earth it was that you were writing down in the first place.
2| cure me please

I'm not dead I swear... [18 Apr 2006|10:31pm]
[ mood | AHHH ]

So yes, I'm not dead, just very busy/boring. Pick one.

I'm enjoying my Easter holidays revising for exams which is exactly what I want to spend my time doing./sarcasm.

Of worthy note:

~~I hate Frankenstein. With a passion. Has anyone read it? Am I one of the few who cannot finish, let alone re-read a book by an author whose talent is definitely not writing? The plot is fantastic, the problem is that Mary Shelley was an awful writer. And it's a book which I'm being examined on for English Literature, which is terrific.

~~Has anybody seen Grease 2? It's a bit lousy with Michelle Phieffer (I think), but the guy in it is GORGEOUS. I just have to say that. Look him up.

~~I'm stressed!

~~I hate exam time. It leaves with zero time to do anything I would like to do. I would really like to finish my novel for my friends' birthday which is in May, but I severely doubt it. Everything is there in my mind, but I've only written about a quarter and it'll be nowhere near finished for her birthday.

~~I'm turning seventeen soon! Well, in about three weeks, but my fun costume party will be in about ten days and I haven't even thought about it. I'm being Madonna circa the 80s in her early stage, and I have the costume, but everything else has not been thought about. Why aren't there more hours in the day?

~~My mind has changed again, I'm not going to do fashion at university, I'm going to take English Literature instead. God knows what after that. And I have serious doubts that any of my universities I've chosen will give me any offers. The pressure is on to get straight As for my AS, but revising is such a BORE.


And how are you all?

1| cure me please

[11 Feb 2006|04:45pm]
Ack, so it seems that I'm only updating this thing whenever I go away. Which I am, away to Paris for an Art trip on Monday. Four days in one of the most romantic cities in the world with 20 girls on Valentine's day. Pity I'm not gay really.

When I come back, I'll find something to actually write about in this damn journal. I can't just keep announcing when I'm going away.

See you soon!
4| cure me please

[13 Jan 2006|09:29pm]
Many hours ago, I saw Brokeback Mountain. Everytime I think about it, I almost start to cry. The movie is going to kill me.
4| cure me please

[05 Jan 2006|04:55pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I'm back, but have been ill for a while. I will update, telling you all about it or possibly updating with just pictures, although my camera threatened to die several times during the holidays. speak soon.

cure me please

[13 Dec 2005|10:49pm]
And so I'm off. See you all when I get back!
3| cure me please

[11 Dec 2005|01:49pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Ok so this is getting too much. Everywhere I look, I see Narnia stuff. Everywhere I look, I see the character Susan, played by Anna Popplewell. People have icons of her. Layouts with her on them. It's too weird! She used to be in my science classes! I see her almost every day at school! Stop with the madness people!

8| cure me please

[10 Dec 2005|06:08pm]
Yes I am alive. Sorry for the major disappearance, but I've been super busy and too many things have been happening to go into details. But I'm good.

So I went to the GoF premiere (I know I'm so late on updating with this...) and I had written out a very long post about it several days after I went, detailing everything from the rain to the hotness of Robert Pattinson (who talked to me!) but my computer sucks and crashed when I was clicking post, so no more update which I had spent close to an hour on! So yes, I'm not going to do it again because I can't be bothered, but just know that it was gooooood.

I've seen GoF twice, and it does get better every time I see it. I personally loved it. There were many flaws, but I loved almost every minute of it, and thought it was miles better than the first three.

Well...now must go. If I don't update in the next three weeks, blame it on the fact that I'm going to Sri Lanka for 3 weeks, not my incredible laziness!

See you all when I get back!
4| cure me please

the prequel [05 Nov 2005|03:31pm]
I went out last night, to a karaoke bar. I got very drunk. And then everything came tumbling out. I couldn't stop it, it was like water being freed from a dam, I didn't stop until everything had gotten free. I told Her how much i hated Her, I told Her how I never wanted to talk to Her again and that I never wanted to see Her again. Then she cried. And although I don't want to admit it, I felt bad. One of my closest friends, who is also very close with Her came up to me after and told me off and asked me why I did it, but by that time I was already crying, breaking down and confessing to all my friends how I've been feeling, and why I hate Her so much. Everything came out. I told them how I've been so depressed and how I self-harmed, I told them everything. Almost all of them know now.

I just don't know what to think. I couldn't tell them before because of the looks I would get, and I'm dreading Monday morning when I walk in. I don't know how they'll react. I don't know if they'll hug me tight like they did last night and tell me everything will be ok, like they did last night, that they'll tekk me they will be here for me, like they did last night. Or if they'll pretend it never happened. If we all pretend that I had never said anything, and it was like how it was before. And I don't know which one I want. I don't want smothering, I don't want any of that. But it feels like a small weight has been lifted off me now, now that I've told my closest friends how much I pretend to be happy.

But a whole new feeling has taken control now. Guilt. Although I know that when I told Her how I felt, I meant to make her feel bad, to feel as low as I did. I was supposed to feel happy when She cried. I didn't. I felt the opposite. I don't regret it in the sense that I will put it all behind me and be her friend again. But I think I'll learn to tolerate Her again, and maybe I might even begin to like Her again.

Even though I feel a weight has been lifted, I'm more confused than ever.
4| cure me please

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